When the holidays come to mind, many know it as a period to finally relax and relieve all the problems. For once in a very long time, people seem happier as the seasonal magic comes to fruition.

Every year, that is at least the feeling we’re all supposed to experience. The idea of getting to be with loved ones gives us a sense of purpose, and the ability to slow down naturally eases our minds. And frankly, it is the only time of the year where society says it is okay to procrastinate and push off priorities until the new year.

But yet, even as much good as this time brings, there is also an intense mixture of emotions that comes with it. America has built a national presumption that the holidays should be “picture perfect,” and if families do not meet this standard, they are automatic failures.

There are a few reasons why the holidays are particularly emotional for families, and psychologists would argue one of the main factors has to do with the piling demands. Because the holidays require a great deal of attention and more responsibilities than usual, the brain is juggling too many thoughts that cause it to fuel exhaustion over time. 

In addition, the holidays fall in a window when people are already scrambling in other parts of their lives. Tight deadlines are being pressured at work, while the kids’ school schedules are packed with final projects and events. The external burdens added to the weight of the holidays don’t help anyone’s mental load.

Above all, what also triggers well-being during this time is the tense financial expectations. Gift giving becomes expensive, and oftentimes parents tend to overspend just to prove their love to the kids and their communities. When parents take on more than they can handle financially, it leads to a great deal of debt, but also feelings of anxiety and stress.

“New research shows that 36 percent of Americans went into holiday debt last year, with the average amount rising to one thousand one hundred eighty one dollars. That is not just a spending problem, it is a sign that guilt and fear are driving parents to push past their financial limits. When we break the boundaries of our financial limits, we make the holidays far heavier than they need to be,” says Prudence Hatchett, Leadership Resilience Strategist and Mental Wellness Specialist.

Hatchett couldn’t be more right. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, about 64% of individuals noted that their mental health disorders worsen during the holidays. Roughly 41% of U.S. adults feel heightened stress during this time, and that is because of the financial challenges it brings.

With the culmination of both negative and positive feelings, it is not always easy to understand how to navigate the holidays in the right way. But as Hatchett would add, one of the best ways to make ends meet is to set strict boundaries and take control of limits from the get-go.

“I encourage families to be honest about financial limits, and incorporate fun holiday experiences the family can remember for a lifetime. Children remember connection, not price tags, and shifting toward that truth can protect both financial and mental health,” she explains.

At the same time, creating calm amongst the chaos can help individuals stay grounded and strong. When people can take the time to breathe, process, and slow down, it becomes a powerful tool for managing mental strain. A few mindful practices daily can make the world of a difference, even when the holidays feel difficult.

In any scenario, what individuals should remember most is that the holidays are intended to be joyful, so shifting the mindset is what can build resilience in the face of it all. Acknowledging that not every miracle has to be made is the easiest approach one can take in order to manage this hectic time.

This holiday season, let’s normalize a much healthier lifestyle. Don’t let the fear of expectation or money intimidate you, and make space to be your own individual self. After all, the holidays are here to spark hope, so make them count.