Most relationship experts put a lot of focus on the “dos” of dating. They advise you on what to say, how to dress, and what type of woman you can approach. After following their advice, you may land the girl of your dreams. You might also end up with a woman who is destined to make your worst nightmares come true. When trouble arises, you need to find a way to turn yourself from Prince Charming to King of The Jerks. Here is a few examples on ways you can repel that “special woman”.
1. Talk Non-Stop About Other Women
When ever possible, make other women the subject of every conversation you have with her. And don’t forget to let her know how much better they are than her at everything. Talk to her about your mother, your sister, your ex-wife, and the cute brunette from the office.
Did she just spend the afternoon preparing your favorite meal? Tell her about how your mother would’ve prepared the same meal in less time, with better ingredients, and how she wouldn’t even expect you to leave the couch to get it.
Does want you to go to the gym with her? Mention to her about how the girls at the office can’t get enough of your “love handles”.
Is she self conscious about her bust-line? Talk endlessly about “the amazing rack on that chick from Survivor”.
Get the idea?
2. What’s Cheaper Than Frugal?
Women love money. And whenever possible, they want you spend your hard-earned money on them. If you want to fend off the advances of a woman, you need to do the complete opposite. If you can find a way to make even Ebenezer Scrooge look good compared to you, do it.
For example, next time she wants you to take her out for dinner, keep in a total surprise as to where you plan on going. Pick out a fast food joint, and act pleased with your choice of restaurant. Upon arrival, suggest to her that she can go find you a seat while you place the order. Only pick out something from the value menu, and only order one meal. After you sit down, casually mention to her that you had left your wallet at home, and only had enough money to purchase the one meal, so the two of you will need to share.
Oh, and don’t forget to mention that she owes you for her half of the meal.
3. What Is Homophobic Yet The Opposite?
Women are completely different creatures from men. Men are raised to be hunters and providers. Women are raised to be nurturing and caring to others. That partly explains their behavior around other women. Women think nothing of giving their best friend a hug, or even a little kiss. Men do not.
While most guys might comment about the bisexual tendencies in women and try to talk themselves into a 3-way, you will need to go a step above and beyond. Instead of suggesting a sexual encounter, make accusations of infidelity involving her “lesbian love-interest”. How could you even think about kissing her when she’s probably locked lips with more women than you care to imagine? And once your opinions have become known, change the conversation and talk about how some really nice guy you met outside of some of some gay bar invited you over to his place for drinks the other night.
Keep her guessing.
4. A Pair of Ship Hugger Jeans
You are probably looking at this caption and thinking to yourself: “That’s obviously a typo. He obviously means “hip hugger jeans”, right?” Well, yes and no. The purpose of this next exercise is to try and convince her otherwise.
Think about a topic that she is quite knowledgeable about, and make a point of fudging the facts as badly as possible. Is she a big fan of Queen? While listening to “Bohemian Rhapsody”, make a point of singing along but changing the lyric from “Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me…” to “The algebra has a devil for a sidekick in me”. Something that sounds reasonably similar, but totally not the right lyric.
Do you best to really stress this part of the song. If she tries to correct you, point out her mistake. “What the hell is Beelzebub? That’s just gibberish. Freddie Mercury hated algebra when he was a kid. That’s a fact.” In order to really piss her off, show her the Squidoo Lens or HubPage hub that supports your argument (that you built previous to the argument). Before showing her the page, don’t forget to mention to her that you “found it on Google”.
The Internet never lies.
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