Love and Hate - By: Bernice Ross

Love is the unifying force. Anything else is separation, regardless of the name we give it. Generally, most of us use the words "love" and "hate" as antonyms. Some have argued that love and hate are merely two sides on the same coin. Others have put forth the belief that the real antonym for love is apathy, the sheer lack of any feeling whatsoever. Others have argued that the opposite of love is fear. When we experience the oneness or a sense of connectedness, we are at peace and feel the joy of giving and receiving love. When we act in ways that separate us, whether it is through apathy, fear, or hate, we lose our joy because we have lost our connection with love. But how can I feel love towards someone who is hurting me by being hateful or abusive? This can be very difficult. The first step is to understand that hurtful behavior comes from fear. Ask yourself, what is this person so fearful about they needed to act in this way with me? Second, ask, "Why have I attracted this behavior?" "What have I tolerated, what have I allowed in my life that I am now having to experience this behavior?" Once you have identified the source, shift to a different place, a place that comes from love and no longer attracts what is negative.

Challenge: Next time you encounter someone who reacts negatively to you or causes you some other type of hurt, try one of the following techniques to reduce how their behavior impacts you. First, imagine that you are standing behind a thick sheet of plexiglass. The glass allows information to come through, allows you to clearly see the other individual, but protects you from anything harmful that the person might say or do to you. Your glass filters out all that is negative and only allows that which is positive to pass through. You can see through them and acknowledge their fear, but it doesn't penetrate the glass. It doesn't affect you. A second approach involves using a mirror. (If you feel strongly that someone is sending you bad vibes, you may want to keep the mirror in a pocket with the reflective side facing out). Then, what ever happens to you throughout the course of the day, you can mirror it back to the person who sent it to you with love. When using this approach, place no anger or resentment on what you send, only love.

About the Author

Bernice L. Ross, Ph.D., is a Nationally Syndicated Real Estate Columnist, Master Certified Coach and CEO of http://www.RealEstateCoach.com . She provides training, coaching, and consulting. While researching alternative teaching and decision-making tools, Bernice discovered, among Native American traditions, a model to assist people in making better decisions. Read more at http://blross.typepad.com/going_where .

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