Live Free! – What’s the meaning of this? - By: Elle de Champagne

So far we’ve established that to really live free means to live without fear and that in order to do so we need to set some beliefs as foundations. These new beliefs may test our old but they are necessary in order to fulfill the requirements to Live Free!

Belief #1: There is no meaning except the meaning you give it.

This is the one principal that will shake you to your core unless of course you are familiar with it already.

What does it mean? It means exactly what it says. Any time that we say to ourselves, “What does this mean?”, we are making up a story and giving meaning to an event.

An event is simply that. Something that occurred at a certain time. Something that took place. Something that happened. What you make it mean is what you make it mean.

Let me start with a simple example. Something that is common to most people. Learning to ride a bike. Most of us can remember when we first learned to ride a bike. If you don’t remember, read on because you will surely be able to relate to it.

When you first learn to ride a bike, you might have been practicing with training wheels or you might just be going straight for the first run. You usually have a parent, or guardian standing behind or beside the bike, holding it steady while you get on. Slowly you move forward together, you’re coach holding onto the bike, encouraging you in some way. Then all of a sudden you’re told that you’re doing it. You’re riding on your own. Now this fact alone may be enough to make you lose your balance and fall, or maybe not, but the fact is, one day, one time, eventually, you will fall.

What does this mean?

It means you lost your balance. It means you’re just a beginner. It means you’re not a good cyclist. It means you’re a failure. It means you’re stupid or useless or whatever else. It means you weren’t looking where you were going. It means all this and more.

It also means nothing.

It’s just something that happened.

You fell. Period. No meaning. No after thought.

Are you still with me?

What I’m saying is for every person out there, there is going to be a meaning to the fall. It is the same event, but everyone is going to claim their own meaning. But really, the fact is… what happened was that you fell. And if you are going to choose a meaning for the fall, then that is your choice. Your choice of a million meanings. An infinitude of meanings. It’s your choice. It is also your choice to not place meaning on the event at all.

If you choose not to place meaning to the event then you are on a path to freedom my friend.

But if you do chose, and remember it is your choice, to place a meaning on an event then choose something that is supportive. For example with the bike, you can think – I had to fall so I could learn how to fall in order to protect myself.

I hope you’re still with me. If not, have faith that you will begin to understand.

Ok, so this was a simple example. Let’s turn the up heat on this belief.

Your first heartache. Let’s be non-specific about this one. It could be from your first love break-up, or your first pet dying, or a parent of family member passing away, or anything else that may fall within this spectrum. If you are alive and reading this, then you have to have experienced your first heartache.

Let’s get specific for the sake of argument. Most of us have experienced the heartache and pain of a break-up from our first love. If you haven’t then you are lucky but I’m sure you can relate to it. And we all have meaning attached to it as well, don’t we? It could have been that “he, or she, didn’t really love me” or “I wasn’t good enough” or “pretty enough” or something enough. When it comes to heartache, just as the first fall from your bike, there are endless possibilities of reasons or meanings associated to it.

Even when you talk to your friends, one person would say it means one thing and the other would say it means another. A wise person would say it means nothing. It just happened. It is something that occurred. However, if you’re going to put meaning on it, why not choose something that supports you. Just like a supportive mother would say: “he or she wasn’t good enough for you”. We all know that line.

Now let’s turn the heat up even further on this belief. I once heard a story about two sisters. They both grew up in an abusive home. Their father abused them both physically and mentally.

The two sisters, now grown-up, were very different from each other. One sister was married and had children of her own. She was very happy and in a happy marriage. The other sister was always involved in abusive relationships. She was very depressed and sickly. They were both asked why they thought that their lives had turned out the way they had. They both answered the same thing: “Look at how I grew up. Of course I am the way I am.”

Once sister’s meaning for growing up in an abusive home was that this is what she was meant to suffer her whole life. The other sister’s meaning was that because she had suffered what she did as a child, she was going to make sure that this never happened to her in her adult life. The same event gave two different meanings and created two different lives.

The active factor is that they chose it to mean what they chose it to mean. Maybe not consciously, but never the less, they made their choice. The depressed and abused adult sister only has to make the choice that her sister has made in order to change her life.

Admittedly, making the choice and making the change is easier said then done however, this example is used to support the fact that a different meaning is placed on the same event and that the choice for each meaning creates vastly different results.

The bottom line is that for any one event, many meanings can be associated to it. And as an aside, we are all free to chose the meaning we associate to an event.

There is no meaning except the meaning you give it.

So, begin being conscious of the meaning you place on events or happenings and make a concerted effort to choose a meaning that is supportive and will move you forward. Or even better yet, choose to place no meaning to it and accept it for what it is. Something that happened.

I invite you to consider the meaning you placed on an event in your life that haunts you, consider a new supportive meaning and how different your life would have been and would be if this were the meaning that you had chosen for the event.

Join me again next week when we talk about the next belief. In the meantime, read my book, Live Your Dream, Now – The recipe for happy, fulfilling, stress-free living. In it I discuss how to live without fear as well. It is available as an e-book at the website mentioned in the Resource Box.

Live Free!

About the Author

http://www.liveyourdreamnow-thebook.com

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