Inter culture Conflict – From pain to progress – Part Three - By: Deborah Swallow

So is it all about communication and style?
At the centre of conflict lie people’s individual conflict styles. They may compete to win and make the other party lose. This is valid in some cultures where it can be quick and effective, especially if the party think they are right. The cost can be in creating damaged, humiliated people who do not join the consensus and may become bitter and choose to take revenge.

Others accommodate, losing the battle today to win the war tomorrow. They promote trust by giving something and acquiescing to the other’s power in the shorter term. They risk their trust being exploited and forfeiting a healthy long-term solution.

Players may compromise to produce a quick fix that wins them more time to structure a healthy solution. This may cause unhappiness as no party gets all of what they want.
Many people avoid, thinking this saves face, avoids pain and aids survival. However this does not provide a solution and can need lead to escalation.

Those that collaborate use the techniques of mediation to creatively expand their range of choices and end up with something of greater value for both parties that can be committed to, so producing a longer lasting and richer solution.

Associated with the collaborative approach is assertive communication where power and diplomacy operate in a healthy balance so that the individual can express their wants and needs whilst respecting the different wants and needs of the other party. Assertiveness combines facts with emotions and generates requests that have credibility. E.g. “When you do X, I find it really irritating. In future, can you do Y?”

Why is empowerment at the heart of successful conflict resolution?
If both parties feel confident and able to express their needs, then this is the only way that resolution can occur. The essential condition for success is that both parties feel validated, acknowledged, respected, listened to and understood.

The bi-product of empowerment is that the parties can then be held accountable for their behaviour and are invested in the consequences of their actions. The output of empowerment is personal responsibility.

What strategies are required?
The mediator moderates proceedings and deals with difficult behaviour. Knowing when to be assertive and to challenge individuals and went to use the group dynamic to challenge unconstructive behaviour becomes a strategic decision. The mediator balances diplomacy with the need for progress.
The mediator creates a frame, promotes trust, raises self-awareness, raises awareness of the other party, isolates the issues, restates the issues constructively and uses various methods to get to a viable outcome.

One strategy for reversing escalating tension or unblocking frozen debate is to stop, take a break, breathe, move bodies and change the setting. This can often release new energy, creativity and positive ideas. It subtly promotes the essential technique of mediation, which is to change the point of view.

When do you get a resolution?
The mediator’s job begins to come to a close when the parties have recognised and reconcile their differences and have agreed to discontinue hostilities.
Going further it is possible to create much better outcomes by trading further and creating synergies and greater value-added solutions by reframing difference as an opportunity. As Meredith Belbin said, “No person is perfect… but a team can be!”

What is to be learnt by the mediator?
Solving one problem is satisfying but it may not help you solve all problems. The mediator accumulates experience that include successes and failures (reframed as accelerated hot learning!) They hone their personal skills, detach, transcend their irritations and sublimate their own agendas, becoming adept at mining into communication to find the golden truths within.

Written by Matthew Hill from the discussion notes at the SIETAR UK World Café on Intercultural Conflict in February 2011 at the Chartered Institute of Arbitrators, moderated by Wendy Bamfield, Tricia Coverdale – Jones, Neil Payne, Christine Bunnenburg, Nicola Weinert, Chris Stephens, Chris Balkwill, Rob Johnson, Arun Singh and Katherine Barton.

Thanks to everyone who contributed to the SIETAR UK World Café on Intercultural Conflict … especially our superstar mediators, Ranse Howell and Susanne Schuler.

About the Author

Deborah Swallow is an inspirational speaker and a rare academic-entrepreneur who brings a deep understanding of cross culture communication to busy executives in a way that meets their needs in today’s fast-paced, globalising business arena.

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