How to Manage Your Anger - By: Ruth Bridgewood

HOW TO MANAGE YOUR ANGER

The three most common ways that people react when faced with a stressful or potentially anger-inducing situation are to become defensive, to lash out (often at those we love the most) or to bottle up their emotions. These reactions are unhealthy and, most of the time, inappropriate:

1. Anger can be brought on by a wide variety of triggers which can cause people to go on the defensive. When faced with these situations they tend to react quickly and bitterly, in turn producing hostile reactions from others. Often, these defensive responses are a result of behaviours learned from parents or other adults in their early life.
2. Many people also start lashing out when they confront situations which cause anger. These people may use physical as well as verbal abuse, and almost always act on impulse, causing results which are later regretted. Whenever someone lashes out they will naturally get a negative response which only evokes more problems. It will be too late when they realize that their behaviour did not solve anything.
3. When feelings are bottled up, they tend to create negative consequences, including "lashing out" at a later date. It may appear to be fine but the problem will be still there. Bottling up emotions will lead to resentment which can be there for a long time, eating away, possibly even creating health problems.

People who are serious about working on their anger can greatly benefit from effective anger
management, but it will only be helpful to those who are ready to accept responsibility for themselves and would like to change their ways. Once anger management techniques have been learned, people can face any situation in a more appropriate, effective and calm manner.

If possible, the best approach is to see a professional who will assist to identify and address tense situations by getting down to the root cause of anger, as well as providing tools to minimise stress. In the absence of professional help, here are some thoughts and tips which may help you manage your emotions:

" Face the fact that we do get angry at times. Accept it, and make a decision to have the tools ready to deal with it when it arises.
" Recognise that lashing out at someone is not a mature or rational way to handle a problem. Whilst most people will be angry at times, learning to control it and deal with the source of your anger will be more effective in the long run.
" Identify triggers that cause anger, and develop strategies to keep them from provoking an angry response. Keep in mind that anger itself, doesn't solve problems.
" Simple relaxation techniques like deep breathing and relaxing imagery can calm anger.
" Try to replace angry thoughts and impulses with more rational ones.
" Think before you speak - most people regret things they say in anger.
" Be empathic, put yourself in the other person's shoes and try to understand "where they are coming from".
" Remove yourself from the situation or practice "time-out" by going for a walk or other physical activity, or take a car ride somewhere.
" Playing sport, reading, listening to music or communing with nature can help to divert anger. Keeping physically fit and getting adequate rest will also help.
" At work we often let people get to us. It's not likely that they are deliberately trying to make you angry, but if you seriously feel that they are, then that's all the more reason to keep your cool and not to let them get the satisfaction of driving you up the wall. On the other hand, if someone gets on your nerves without meaning to do so, a friendly chat may be the solution.
" If you are the object of someone else's anger, avoid shouting at the other person. By speaking in a softer tone you will create more feeling of calmness for both of you.
" If you are one of the people who tends to bottle up their emotions, realise that it is better to release it, in a controlled and assertive (not aggressive) way. Let the person in question know how you feel, without yelling or pointing blame. Try to resolve the situation in a calm and reasonably way. You may even find that you were wrong about something, if so, apologise!
" Share the problem with someone else - verbalise angry emotions and feelings with an understanding friend or family member. A mature listener may help the angry person understand the other person's point of view without hurt feelings.
" Writing down thoughts or keeping a journal is another effective way to manage anger, particularly where confrontation is liable to cause further rifts or where it is inappropriate or not possible (e.g. anger at the traffic or a societal issue, or where the person is no longer around).
" Writing down feelings can also help one arrive at conclusions about trigger-factors that led to the anger. Being able to re-read the notes later on can provide insight and clues for the real causes behind the anger.
" For those with spiritual leanings, prayer, meditation and silence are good ways to reduce stress levels.
Remember, you can't eliminate anger, or change all things, but changing the way you think about things or how they affect you, is the first step toward anger management. For your e-book on Anger Management, visit the website below.

About the Author

For more articles by Ruth Bridgewood and free gifts, visit http://www.inspirit-persgrowth.com or http://www.inspiritebooks.com

Article Directory Source: http://www.articlerich.com/profile/Ruth-Bridgewood/53896

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