How Will Your Child React To Your Divorce? - By: David A. Walker

When a marriage ends, it can be traumatizing for all involved. Of course it has a great effect on the husband and wife, but the children in the marriage will be affected as well. And, Although the emotional burdens on each of the partners can be hard, when compared to how your divorce will emotionally affect your child, it is trivial.

To children the home is a place where they can always return to for safety. This is especially true for smaller children. It represents security. He knows that regardless of the problems that he is experiencing at school, in the parks, in the neighborhood, and so forth - he can always return to home, the place where his parents will protect and take care of him.

Then suddenly, out of the blue, he discovers that the two adults who he has counted on being there for all of his life, are breaking up. It can be devastating. And there's nothing that he can do about it. Children feel powerless much of the time anyway, and this just adds to his sense of powerlessness, depression, and despair .

A huge reason for much of the sense of helplessness that the child feels is due to the fact the she has not had time to emotionally prepare for the breakup because she didn't see it coming. After all, the adults have probably talked about this for months and even then, as adults, are still grappling with their emotions. Just think of what this will do to a child without their years of maturity. So one of the things that every parent can do, when thinking about divorce, is to avoid springing it on their children as a surprise.

Once you and your partner have definitely made the decision that you are going to divorce or separate, sit down and talk to your child. Ensure that you ease him into understanding and accepting the decision. And make sure that the both of you will be there for him to talk to as the transition takes place

When a couple divorces, no one can predict exactly how the children will react. Some children will begin to wet the bed, a sure sign of anxiety and insecurity. Some will become angry and act out their frustrations and anger with temper tantrums. Others will withdraw into a shell in an attempt to shut off their feelings and protect themselves from being emotionally hurt.

What you, as a parent, can do is to make an appointment with a divorce therapist. In fact, you should make an appointment to see the therapist before you even tell the child. She will very well give you many good suggestions as to how to break the news to your child and can also help you to understand what changes you can expect in your child. Seeing a therapist, may be good for you, but ultimately it's just another thing that you do in an attempt to ensure that, however the divorce turns out, your child will be emotionally protected.

The manner in which the parents handle the divorce can greatly affect the future emotional growth of our child. If both partners handle it responsibly, the odds are the child will have no ill emotional effects from the divorce. But if the adults handle it badly, their child could very well become emotionally damaged for the rest of their lives.

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