How To Get Over An Affair Understanding Why Your Spouse Did It - By: D.A. Campbell

In dealing with how to get over an affair there is a question that haunts any person when they find out their spouse has been unfaithful. Why? When you exchanged your wedding vows there was never a doubt in your mind that each of you would be true to one another. Indeed you have kept your part of the bargain.

Unfortunately somewhere along the way your marriage partner changed their outlook. Yes they say they love you and always will. They may even tell you in no uncertain terms that the affair or affairs did not mean anything. However that is small comfort to you after infidelity.

So the question keeps coming back as to why they would risk everything to carry on an extramarital fling. Each individual's motives are different but there are a few which are quite common to many cheating spouses and it is important to consider them if you are learning how to get over an affair

1. Their Partner Wasn't Doing Right

This is a clever way of making you responsible for their actions. The unfaithful partner convinces themselves that you are not giving the things they need physically and emotionally so they make the decision to look elsewhere. They feel after trying to communicate with you that the relationship has gotten no better. In essence the unfaithful partner is saying it is all your fault and since it is your fault thanks for giving them permission to stray. Unfortunately after infidelity too many victims buy into that line of reasoning.

2. Thrill

The cheating spouse meets someone that catches their attention so they go for it. But the element of danger is what gets them going. The marital relationship is being put in jeopardy and that suits them just fine. Of course they do not believe that they will get caught but going to the edge without falling off is exhilarating.

3. Selfish

After infidelity on a very public stage a certain former President was asked why he would choose to risk everything to carry on an affair, he said because he could. Many cheating spouses feel the same way. They want what they want and if it destroys the marriage that's how it goes. Nothing is going to stand in the way of their selfishness.

About the Author

For more information on surviving infidelity go to how to survive an affair

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