How Do You Be Unique When What You Do Isn't Yours? - By: Mark Silver

You come off the freeway exit ramp, and bam, you're stuck behind a long line of cars at the stop sign, all wanting to turn left, the same way you want to go. Slowly, one by one, they go through the stop sign. You inch imperceptibly forward.

Suddenly one of the cars peals off and goes right, instead of left. You're bored by this time, so you figure, what the heck--let's try it out.

You follow the car, and find they make a sharp right, a jog left, and then another left. And they've gotten to where you want to go, left, faster than everyone else. You're so excited to find this cut-through that you don't notice that they've suddenly hit the breaks to turn left into a driveway.

CRASH! You hit them from behind. And then you find out they are an unmarked police car. Oops.

Is your business tailgating someone else's business?

It's a really common way to get into business: you experience something that makes a huge difference in your life, and you want to share it. Massage. Reiki. Marketing. Organic oatmeal. The Work.

So, you study with the people who went right instead of left, and you get good at it. Really good at it. You start to experience some success, but you keep bumping into a ceiling--your business won't grow anymore.

It's not a ceiling, it's a rear bumper.

When you're lost and it's dark out, it's a good idea to follow someone very closely--especially if they know where they're going. But, after a while, it will be time to back off and realize that you aren't going where they're going--you're going where you're going. Unfortunately, many business owners don't back off and go their own way before they've become intimate with the rear bumper just ahead.

The horrible story of one rear-end collision:

I have a friend who is a practitioner of a certain holistic therapy. She's achieved a great deal of success, more than many of her fellow practitioners, and she's gotten there by associating herself very closely with the modality and how to apply it in a variety of practical, everyday situations.

And then the therapy's organization decided to stop practitioners from using its trademarked terms in Google adwords because of copyright violations. Overnight, one of her biggest sources of new clients dried up. CRASH.

And this wasn't a single occurrence. The mother organization had made certain marketing moves that were potentially quite smart for them, but they crowded out practitioners who were trying to use the same methods.

The solution:

She took control of her business vehicle, and stopped tailgating. It's a funny thing--you can go much farther and faster when there's no one in front of you.

How do you transition from tailgating to driving free?

Keys to the Open Road

• Watch for tailgating symptoms

When you're lost, you follow the car ahead very closely. But, as you get into familiar territory and you know what you're doing, you pay less attention. If you're still following closely but paying less attention--that makes for a dangerous tailgating situation.

Do you find yourself clamping down on creative inspirations because "they don't do it that way"? Are you surprised to realize that you might even be a little bored with the work you do but not wanting to do something new?

And, the clincher: do you find yourself learning new things but thinking you have to price them or sell them separately--that you aren't allowed to combine and synthesize? If so, you're probably tailgating.

• Give credit where credit is due--even if it's to yourself

You've probably read lots of books, and taken many classes. You use what you learn, while, I'm sure, referencing who you've learned it from, and sending people their way when appropriate.

But, after awhile, you've probably found that you've used someone's idea so many times that it feels really familiar. You've even come up with different terms to describe it, and you have personal stories illustrating your point. Tellingly, it's changed and shifted some--you've mixed two ideas together that give you and your customers a greater insight.

Bingo--it's yours. Feel free to continue to reference people you've learned from, but if you've created your own terms, have your own stories, and you can't trace the ideas back to just a single person or organization, it's now yours. You've synthesized something new. You're on the open road.

• Cut the ties that bind

Once you are traveling under your own power, it's time to start writing articles, teaching classes, writing a book... (Yup--writing a book.) It's a very nourishing step. On the Open Road, you are able to step into a position of equality instead of subservience. And, in my experience, when everyone is standing as an equal, the world is a safer, more nourishing place.

About the Author

Mark Silver is the author of Unveiling the Heart of Your Business: How Money, Marketing and Sales can Deepen Your Heart, Heal the World, and Still Add to Your Bottom Line. He has helped hundreds of small business owners around the globe succeed in business without lousing their hearts. Get three free chapters of the book online: www.heartofbusiness.com

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