Here are Four Steps to Stop Violence in Relationships in Honor of National Domestic Violence Awareness Month - By: Dan Griffin

Like so many other tough topics, as long as we are silent about domestic violence, we are complicit in it continuing. Many people do not fully understand what domestic violence even is. Simply stated, domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior where one person seeks to have control over another so as to diminish them or their ability to act freely as their own person. It doesn’t matter why a person is abusive to another individual, it is wrong and unacceptable.

Did you know that the ribbon for preventing domestic violence is purple? Have you seen any purple ribbons this October? In addition to being Breast Cancer Month October is also National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. While breast cancer is a very serious issue and one that deserves the amount of attention it gets, let’s not forget that domestic violence is just as serious and even more common. Sadly, domestic violence is a taboo, rarely discussed topic on our culture. It can be hard to understand or, especially, to admit that one is in a violent relationship.

Let this Domestic Violence Awareness Month be the beginning of a new commitment for you not to turn your head away from a situation where a woman, child, or man is being abused. And please, if you are currently in an abusive relationship make a commitment to get help. Here are four quick tips that I hope you will find helpful:

1. If you are uncomfortable about the way you are being treated in an intimate relationship seek additional information, and support to best understand what is happening. The first time you sense that something is not right – that you have experienced something that made you very uncomfortable – listen to your gut. Talk to someone. Get help. The longer the cycle of violence progresses the more difficult it becomes to get help or intervene.

2. There should be a zero tolerance policy in every home. Your home should be a peaceful and safe place where all members can live in peace and grow spiritually and emotionally. We cannot simply say that we want to create a peaceful home when we did not grow up in one. Unfortunately, it is not that easy. Many times we need outside support to ensure that we do not repeat any of the behaviors that we witnessed and experienced growing up in dysfunctional and abusive homes. Zero tolerance does not have to mean one infraction and you kick the offender out for good – it means having a plan and knowing how you are going to respond to that plan. Whether or not the person who is struggling with being abusive is on board with the plan or not – stick to the plan!

3. Broaden your definition of violence. Move beyond the narrow view of domestic violence being about physical battering. Domestic violence is so much more than physical violence. Using your body size to intimidate, kicking doors or punching walls, verbally threatening someone, and blocking them from being able to move freely are just some other examples of violence. In addition, there are many other types of abuse. Educate yourself, be informed. Remember, pay attention to that little voice inside of you - if something does not feel right get some help!

4. Whether you are the one being abused, or the one doing the abuse, get help! Many people who find themselves being abusive towards loved ones do not want to be that way. Many abusers are acting out of trauma and have little to no awareness or understanding of why they behave the way they do. Regardless, the behavior is still unacceptable and must stop.

About the Author

Dan Griffin, M.A., has worked in the mental health and addictions field for over 16 years. He is author of A Man’s Way Through the Twelve Steps and co-author of the groundbreaking trauma informed curriculum, Helping Men Recover, which looks comprehensively and holistically at men’s needs and issues in recovery, including issues such as domestic violence awareness. To get a free excerpt from his book and his curriculum, go to http://www.dangriffin.com.

Article Directory Source: http://www.articlerich.com/profile/Dan-Griffin/201140

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