He's so fat! 6 Ways to Raise a Sizeist Child - By: Dr Robyn Silverman

We've seen it all before. One child pointing at a woman in the store and saying "mom, she's sooo fat!" Another child refusing to be friends with their chubby classmate. And still others who bully, demean, or tease those who don't fit into the body ideal advertised in the fashion magazines.

How do children get that way? Here are 6 ways children can become sizeist in a sizeist culture:

(1) You show them in your physical reactions: Imagine that every time a parent is approached by a fat man or woman, s/he is rude, belittling or snotty but every time a parent is approached by a thin person s/he is positive, courteous, and relaxed. You might think that a child won't pick up on your body language—but they do. The message is clear; "Fat people make my parents feel uncomfortable, therefore they must be bad."

(2) You say it in your words: Little ears hear everything! That means that what you shout at the TV, the comments you make when leafing through a magazine, or what you whisper to a friend at coffee when a fat person walks by may just be embedded in a young child's lexicon forever.

(3) Your reactions towards them teaches them: The way you react when your child says something rude about a plus-sized person will speak volumes. If a parent laughs, agrees, or adds on to the joke, it will tell your child that it's OK to say demeaning things about people of size. When you say nothing at all, it can have the same effect.

(4) You show it in your choices: If you allow thinner children to do things that you don't allow heavier children to do, you are feeding into a sizeist culture. If you only take pictures of your thin child or allow your thin children to do special things while your fat children must watch from the sidelines, you are not only showing sizeist behavior yourself, but also teaching others to do them same.

(5) You show it in the way you accept your own body: Do you joke with your family over the holiday table about needing to lipo your "huge gut?" Do you look in the mirror and bash your "fat thighs" [fat=bad] or curse at your "skinny" jeans that don't fit anymore? Your children hear this—they see it—and they process it. If we don't accept who we are exactly as we are, how can we expect our children to accept themselves? In this case, parents are teaching children to reject these features in themselves as well as in others.

(6) You show it when you surround yourself with sizeist people: When it comes to our children, they tend to absorb what they see and hear from those who are around them most of the time—it's part of positive assimilation with a group. Therefore, when you surround your children with sizeist people who make statements laced with prejudice, your children have a great chance of adopting similar prejudices.

As adults, it's crucial that we admit when there's a problem and then work to take responsibility to deal with the pertinent issues. Watch your actions, your reactions, and your words. Otherwise, we are breeding hate—not just of others—but also of the children themselves. They become so scared to gain weight that we have a whole other problem on our hands. We must protect our children by teaching them tolerance rather than fostering hate and prejudice.

About the Author

Dr. Robyn Silverman is a child development specialist, body image expert, and parenting coach. Known as "The Character Queen," she's the creator of the Powerful Words Character Toolkit for children's activity centers and families. She's also an award-winning writer who presents nationwide. For information or to contact Dr. Robyn, please visit http://www.DrRobynSilverman.com , http://www.DrRobynsBlog.com or http://www.BodyImageBlog.com

Article Directory Source: http://www.articlerich.com/profile/Dr-Robyn-Silverman/28910

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