Fire Goddess - By: pangsiyan

When I was eight years old, I saw a movie about a mysterious island that had an

erupting volcanoand lush jungles filled with wild animals and cannibals. The island

was ruled by a beautiful woman called Tondalaya, the Fire Goddess of the Volcano.

It was a terrible low budget movie, but to me, it represented the perfect life.

Being chased by moltenlava, blood thirsty animals and savages was a small price to

pay for freedom. I desperately wanted to be the Fire Goddess. I wrote it on my list

of things to be when I grow up, and I asked my girlfriend if Fire Goddess was

spelled with two"D"s.

Through the years, the school system did its best to mold me into a nononsense,

responsible, respectable citizen, and Tondalayawas forgotten. My parents approved

of my suitable marriage and I spent the next 25 years being a good wife, eventually

the mother of four, and a very respectable responsible member of society. My life

was as blandand boring as a bowl of oatmeal. I knew exactly what to expect in the

future. The children would grow up and leave home, my husband and I would grow old

together, and we' d baby-sitthe grandchildren.

The week I turned 50, my marriage came to a sudden end. My house, furniture and

everything I' d owned was auctioned off to pay debts I didn' t even know existed.

In a week I had lost my husband, my home and my parents who refused to accept a

divorce in the family. I'd lost everything except my four teenage children. I had

enough money to rent a cheap apartment while I looked for a job or I could use

every penny I had to buy five plane tickets from Missouri to the most remote island

in the world, the big island of Hawaii.

Everyone said I was crazy to think I could just run off to an island and survive.

They predicted I' d come crawling back in a month. Part of me was afraid they were

right.

The next day, my four children and I landed on the big island of Hawaii with

less than $2,000, knowing no one in the world was going to help us. I rented an

unfurnished apartment where we slept on the floor and lived on cereal. I worked

three jobs scrubbingfloors on my hands and knees, selling macadamia nuts to

tourists and gathering coconuts. I worked 18 hours a day and lost 30 pounds because

I lived on one meal a day. I had panic attacks that left me curled into a knot on

the bathroom floor shaking like a shell-shocked soldier.

One night as I walked alone on the beach, I saw the red orange glow of the lava

pouring out of Kilauea Volcano in the distance. I was wading in the Pacific Ocean,

watching the world's most active volcano, and wasting that incredible moment,

because I was haunted by the past, exhausted by the present and terrified of the

future. I'd almost achieved my childhood dream but hadn't realized it, because I

was focused on my burdens instead of my blessings. It was time to live my

imagination not my history. Tondalaya, the Fire Goddess of the Volcano had finally

arrived.

The next day, I quit my jobs and invested my last paycheckin art supplies and began

doing what I loved. I hadn't painted a picture in 15 years, because we barely

scratched out a living on the farm in Missouri, and there hadn't been money for the

tubes of paint, and canvas and frames. I wondered if I could still paint or if I

had forgotten how. My hands trembled the first time I picked up a brush. But before

an hour had passed, I was lost in the colors spreading across the canvas in front

of me. I painted pictures of old sailing ships and as soon as I started believing

in myself, other people started believing in me, too. The first painting sold for

$1,500 before I even had time to frame it.

The past six years have been filled with adventures. My children and I have gone

swimming with dolphins, watched whales and hiked around the crater rim of the

volcano. We wake up every morning with the ocean in front of us and the volcano

behind us. The dream I had more than 40 years ago is now reality. I live on an

island with a continuously erupting volcano. The only animals in the jungle are

wild boarsand mongooses and there aren't any cannibals. But often in the evening, I

can hear the drums from native dancers on the beach.

I'm free for the first time in my life. I am Tondalaya, the Fire Goddess of the

Volcano, spelled with two"D"sand I'm living happily ever after.

About the Author

Drive from: give you watches. The island was ruled by a beautiful woman called Tondalaya, the Fire Goddess of the Volcano. It was a terrible low budget movie, but to me, it represented the perfect life. Want to know more clickfree articles.

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