Family Rules To Maintain Balance - By: Robert Baird

It should be pointed out that, as in all systems, the family works to maintain a balance or homeostasis. Families have rules that define how their relationships should work. Examples of such rules include

(1) There should never be open conflict between two members of the family

(2) No one should ever challenge the father's opinions.

"Homeostasis" refers to the tendency of the family to keep members behavior in line, such that if one of the rules is about to be broken, other family members will behave in such a way that the rule does not get broken. If the rule is that no open conflict is allowed, one of the members may change the subject so that the two members about to begin arguing are distracted from their argument. Homeostasis in the family is thus maintained.

Demands for sudden or great change in the rules may result in responses in other family members that tend strongly to maintain the original homeostasis. That is, family members who oppose the change with enforce the old rules, distract the members who are attempting to change the rules, or in other ways work hard to maintain the old rules. Certain rules in families are not only hard-and-fast rules, they are also rules about which no one is allowed to speak openly.

For example, the rule against open conflict may include the corollary rule that one may not talk about prohibiting open conflict. It is a rule that members must deny having but which nevertheless exerts its effects on all family members. A rule against criticizing parents may seem naive on the surface, and so may be disavowed by family members if they are confronted with its existence. The rule may be rigidly enforced, however, by family members who rapidly change the subject when criticism gets dangerously close to expression.

Needless to say, such unspoken rules often exert a stronger influence because they are more difficult for family members to acknowledge, and therefore to change, when circumstances require change. Even rules that have no sanctions against their acknowledgment are often difficult for families to perceive. Family rules are developed gradually and information during the family's formation. Thus the rules are outside the awareness of the members because they have formed the backdrop of the relationships for many years, perhaps since before most members were born.

About the Author

By Robert Baird, author for http://www.alzheimersadvice.org/. This site provides information on caregiver and treatment therapy . If you want to publish the above article then you are welcome to do so, provided you provide a linkback to authors site at http://www.alzheimersadvice.org/.

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