Don't Let the Bully Get the Upper Hand - By: A Wolski

I'm sure we are all familiar with the concept of bullying or harassment. Bullying is a cruel act that has an effect on all concerned, including those who witness the cruelty and the misery it causes the victim. Harassment is very stressful for the victim and needs to be addressed.

We generally associate the concept of bullying with schools though it can take place anywhere. When a school is overly competitive, there is often a problem with bullying. However, schools need to foster an environment of anti-bullying so that all students can be safe and happy. Bullying can have dramatic long-term affects on a child and can contribute to mental and emotional problems throughout life.

Bullying is an intentional act of hurting another person either physically, verbally, mentally, or emotionally. It may be mild or severe but is usually repetitive. It can also be done through SMS messages or email. The most common form of bullying is verbal and happens outside of school in places such as bus or train stations, in parks, or at home.

While nobody does anything about bullying, it will continue to be a problem. There are a number of factors that may contribute to a child becoming a bully.

� The child may be impulsive and aggressive
� The child may not care that he/she is causing distress
� The child may get what they want by bullying
� Bullying may make the child feel powerful over others
� The bully often comes from a violent family background
� The bully may be a victim of someone else's bullying

A child who is a bully could well grow up to be an abuser of his/her partner and children. The bully tends to pick on children who they see as being easy to hurt such as:

� Children who have a disability
� Children who struggle academically
� Children who come from another country or culture
� Children who are unhappy at home
� Children who are smaller or weaker

Often, victims of bullying blame themselves and may be ashamed or frightened to tell an adult what is happening. A bully will often make threats if the victim tells anyone. However, there are some signs to look out for:

� Taking a different route to school
� Avoiding going to school
� Showing signs of distress before or after school
� Hating school
� Loss or damage to their things
� Having no friends
� Sleeping problems

Bullying can have life-long effects on both the bully and the victim that last through into adulthood.

For the victim, it leads to problems with self esteem and may cause ongoing depression. The bullied child feels a sense of isolation, fear, anger, and lack of concentration at school. They often feel that they don't fit in their world.

For the bully, the behavior often leads to problems with the law such as delinquency and violence.

As a parent you can help in several ways including:

� Taking the child's feelings seriously
� Allow your child to talk freely and openly
� Ask your child why he/she thinks they are being bullied
� Give your child some control over outcomes and solutions
� Don't make your child feel worse by calling them names such as "sook"
� Help your child come up with alternatives to avoid the situations where the bullying occurs
� Help your child improve his/her self confidence
� Consider assertiveness training for your child
� Approach the school about the problem

Most children will be a victim of some form of bullying during their life. The trick is to learn how to handle these situations in such a way as to reduce the damage done. By encouraging your child to talk to you about any problems, the communication lines can be working in time to avoid potential harm.

About the Author

Anne has worked primarily within health and welfare for around 35 years. She has always loved to write and has a wide range of interests. She is the owner of http://www.ourkidzbiz.com and http://www.ozehealthbiz.com.

Article Directory Source: http://www.articlerich.com/profile/A-Wolski/44746

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