Divorce Court: 5 Tips To Give You A Leg Up - By: Lucille Uttermohlen

I was never a fan of stuffy people. When I was a child, I took special pleasure in offending the sensibilities of the righteous. Teachers, and anyone else who struck me as snooty, were the best targets for my warped and sometimes wildly inappropriate sense of humor.

Not much has changed since I was young. I'd like to say that is because not much time has passed since then, but I never tell a lie even I find unbelievable. I still like to give "authority" a run for its money, and it seems to like to return the favor by giving me a run for my life. Having established myself as not particularly reverent towards the government and its protocol, I do believe that the following tips will help you negotiate the courtroom in your divorce case.

1. Dress pretty. Don't show up in tattered jeans and a dirty t-shirt. Imagine that you are watching the 6:00 news. Would you be able to trust the information you got from the journalist if she was dressed in rags?

If you are going to be a witness you need to be credible. If you look like you were just dragged off the street to say your piece, the court might be inclined to believe you were. This may seem like a superficial judgment, but remember, the judge only has the few minutes you are on the stand to get to know you. If you look like you were just awakened from your sleep under a dumpster, the judge doesn't have any other information to tell him that you are actually a fine, upstanding citizen who is just fashion challenged.

2. Don't dress for play. Shorts and flip flops belong on the beach. Tight skirts and low cut blouses are generally considered evening wear. In court, you are trying to look formal, so that you will be believable. You don't have to wear a suit. Tails and gowns are unnecessary. However, clean slacks and a modest blouse will never offend.

3. Don't marinate in fragrance. First of all, what may be a sweet floral bouquet to you may be the very stuff of allergies to those sharing the courtroom with you. It is fine to wear a little discrete scent. However, if your perfume announces your approach before your body is even in sight, you may get the sense that people are rushing you off. It's nothing personal. They'd have the same reaction to a skunk, and skunks are even cute.

4. A recent bath or shower lend credence to what you say on the stand. Brushing your teeth also enhances your credibility. Bad breath and body odor are unappetizing, especially in close quarters. The judge doesn't want to know how a water buffalo smells, and won't like being forced to find out. We all have bodies, and we know how bad they can smell. There's no advantage to forcing the judge to endure the results of bad grooming.

5. Leave the little ones at home. Getting a baby-sitter isn't always easy, but you'll be glad you did. A bored screaming child does nothing to help the court and parties deal with the business at hand. . Besides, you'll be able to fully concentrate on the proceedings if you're not worried about getting little Jill to the bathroom on time while you're trying to testify.

You may ask who died and made me Peggy Post. I don't blame you. I hate to be instructed about the obvious, too. You would be surprised, however, at how many people treat the courtroom like an extension of their patio deck. This mind set is not helpful when you are facing someone who has your important business in her hands. Wearing nice clothes and not bringing your kids with you may not guarantee that you'll win your case, but these things will give you a leg up.

Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen

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