Divorce: Coping For Yourself And Your Kids - By: Lucille Uttermohlen

Kids are wonderful little people, especially when they're asleep. They are easy to care for then, because all you have to worry about is whether they've kicked their blankets off. The rest of the time they are awake, and then, they can create a lot of stress.

Kids who are unhappy with their parent's divorce can be especially difficult. Not only must a parent cope with his / her own doubts and fears, they must try to manage the situation for their kids so as to make it less scary and stressful. It is a bit like the airlines warning you to put your own mask on before helping someone else.

You really could loose your breath while trying to put an oxygen mask on an uncooperative child. Its nearly impossible to meet both of your needs at the same time. These tips may help you and your kids get through.

1. Take the kids for a visit to a friend or relative. Grandparents are good. Aunts, uncles or friends are always possible. It could be a break for the whole family, except for your ex, of course.

2. If you can't go, see if you can send the kids by themselves. It could be calming to spend a week or so with your own thoughts. Having a chance to think about your current situation and not have to worry about planning dinner or doing laundry for the whole family could mean a lot.

3. If money is short, . learn a new skill to get yourself back on your financial feet. There are plenty of courses both on and off-line that can help you learn skills you need to get a decent job. They cost money, but anything that helps you get back in the work force is a sound investment.

4. Accept the fact that he / she is a jerk. You wouldn't be divorcing him / her if you could trust him / her. Unfortunately, life doesn't always work out the way it should. Don't torture yourself with thoughts of how your marriage should have worked out. It didn't, but that doesn't mean you are unlovable. It just means you and your spouse weren't singing out of the same hymnal.

5. Stay healthy. Eat good food and go to the gym. You may feel like you don't have the energy to think about these things. However, neutrition and exercise can have a an impact on your ability to cope with pressure.

6. Treat yourself right. Take relaxing bubble baths, or buy a new pair of shoes. It is too easy to feel undeserving of luxury when you've been rejected by someone important. Your heart may not be in it at first, but if you're nice to yourself, you'll begin to feel worthy again.

7. Join clubs, singles groups or church groups. Don't rush yourself to start dating again. Give yourself time to feel what you've lost. However, come up for air. New people can give you other things to think about which may help you keep some perspective on your own situation.

These suggestions may not seem to be about your kids. However, it is like the air plane example I gave earlier. If you take care of yourself, you will be healthier. If you are healthier, you'll be better able to cope with your kids' adjustment, no matter what the little dears throw at you.

Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen

About the Author

For good clear information about divorce issues, visit Lucille Uttermohlen at http://www.couple-or-not.com Send your legal and relationship questions to lucille@utter-law.com for a quick, thorough response.

Article Directory Source: http://www.articlerich.com/profile/Lucille-Uttermohlen/51774

Additional Articles From - Home | Society | Divorce