Creating the Life You Want - Is Commitment Friend Or Foe? - By: Trevor Hill

From a young age, we learn to be wary of commitment. After all, it can lead to all manner of unwelcome obligations. How else did we get stuck with playing a boring game or with the torment of being polite to an unwelcome visitor?

When we leave childhood behind, we discover that commitment can bring bigger self-sacrifices. It can develop into an inescapable sense of duty or even complete overwhelm. Commitment can get a bad name.

Yet commitment is a positive ingredient when it comes to shaping your future the way you want it. Commitment makes the difference between good intention and real action.

We can all have dreams that say just that - dreams. There is a world of difference between having an interest in something and being committed to it. As Mark Forster points out in 'Do It Tomorrow' - "Most people have a collection of unrelated interests, and, of course, one interest keeps getting in the way of another. There is no real upper limit to the number of things that someone can be interested in. Nothing very much is likely to come of any of them unless interest turns into commitment".

The dictionary defines commitment as a pledge or promise. You can make a pledge to yourself to act on what is important to you: a dream, a project, a relationship. When you commit like this, you stay faithful to the promise you have made to yourself and there is less room for distraction.

However, time is finite which means that you can only have a limited number of commitments at one time. Making a commitment to something inevitably means avoiding anything else that conflicts with that commitment. This can involve some tough choices, yet they are essential if you are going to make progress.

Be careful then what you commit to. When you are invited by a friend, colleague or family member to make a commitment, before agreeing take a look at the impact it will have elsewhere. The overwhelm that many people suffer is largely down to over-commitment. A recent coaching client described it as 'spinning plates' - as soon as one plate was attended to, he had to rush off to keep another spinning, then another and so on until he was back at the first or a plate came crashing to the floor!

Real progress depends on the balance between the commitments you make and the commitments you don't make. So how about making this practical?

Consider a potential commitment you might make:

1. What would you need to start doing to make the commitment?

2. What would you need to stop doing to make the commitment?

3. As a result of your answers above, what is the 'cost' of making the commitment?

4. What is the benefit of making the commitment?

5. Do you wish to go ahead and make this commitment?

A useful check is to ask yourself how often you say 'No' to invitations to commit. If you rarely use that word, it may mean you are over-committing.

About the Author

I'm Trevor Hill, author and inspiration coach. If you would like to see more on creating your future, have a look at 'What Do You Really Want?' on http://www.inspiration-at-work.co.uk/articles/reallyWant.php You can also receive free articles like this straight to your inbox - sign up easily on http://www.inspiration-at-work.co.uk

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