Conflict, an Opportunity for Improvement - By: Reed Daugherity

Each of us experiences countless miscommunications and conflicts in our lives which affect us genuinely. Seems we don't grow up in a family, neighborhood, school, work a job, have a close relationship, raise children or be active in a community without experiencing conflicts. Our workplaces are also influenced by conflict.

Our competitive economy, material-conscious society and politicized government generate persistent disputes, often between polar opposites, e.g., us/them, have/have not, powerful/powerless, etc. We pay a heavy price for these conflicts: money, divorce, injury, low productivity, morale, waste (of many types, divided communities, and certainly happiness.

Many conflicts may be avoidable or unnecessary. Simple miscommunications, construed meanings, styles, unclear tasks, standards, etc. Many have nothing to do with the issues we conflict over and can be resolved through learning and dialogue.

Each conflict contains two truths: the reality of a standoff (stuck in a problem we would like to escape from) and the potential of transformation (possibility to move to a higher order of understanding).

Improving the effectiveness of your organization comes from understanding conflict and the way out. Let's look at eight pathways that can lead to improving the effectiveness of your organization, and the lives and morale of employees. These pathways are extracted from Marshall Goldsmith's work "Eight Paths to Transformation" in Executive Excellence.

1. Understand the context and culture of the conflict. Discovering the meaning of the conflict for yourself and your adversary leads not simply to settlement, but awareness, acceptance, and resolution of the reasons for the conflict.

2. Listen actively, openly, empathically, and with heart. It will take you to the center of your conflict. Here resolution and transformation converge.

3. Embrace and acknowledge emotions. Intense emotions, when not suppressed and communicated openly and directly to the person to whom they are connected, help lift invisible barriers to resolution.

4. Search below the surface for hidden meanings of conflict. Below the issues lie hidden fears, desires, interests, emotions, history, and intentions that tell us what is mistaken and is a potential resource for discharging the conflict.

5. Separate what matters from what is in the way. Resolution lies not in debate over who is right, but dialogue, where the focus shifts from position competition to collaboration to satisfy mutual needs.

6. Learn from difficult behaviors. Every conflict provides us with chances to improve our skills and develop empathy, patience, and perseverance.

7. Solve your conflict creatively and commit to action. The answer always lies within the problem. It takes energy, ambiguity, paradox, mystery, and messiness to bring us to transformation from conflict.

8. Explore resistance and mediate before litigation. All personal resistance reflects an unmet need and a cry for help or authenticity. Explore the resistance to unlock the conflict and overcome the standoff. Dialogue, collaboration, creativity, and willingness to resolve are the allies in this exploration.

I once knew a leader of a company whose employees were constantly in conflict of some sort. Not only did he did not know how to resolve the issues he even glossed over the thought that conflict existed in his company. His turnover exemplified the internal morass. Only through having the employees offer the leader some perspective on the issues, and then giving him the tools through our counsel, as per above, did he begin to understand how to diffuse conflict and ultimately build a more successful corporate culture and reduce his turnover.

We employed the eight paths over time and began to see the company culture change to one of resolving their conflicts individually, and finding solutions much quicker. Ultimately they thanked the leader for the great opportunity to learn together. You too can help transform your conflicts into creative energy through using these eight pathways to utilizing conflict.

Ref: Goldsmith, M., Conflict Resolution, Executive Excellence, Oct. 99

About the Author

Reed Daugherity is a career consultant and coach. He can be reached at: reedcoach@earthlink.net. He also writes a blog for senior citizens at http://findingvalueinaging.blogspot.com/

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