Anger Management Steps - By: Elena Bullock

Anger has to begin somehow. There is always some kind of anger trigger that starts the whole chain of reactions resulting in anger issues. The beginning of anger can be divided into 3 important anger steps.

First anger management step: I want something

We all have wishes and needs. We want to look good, be rich, loved, popular... We could make indefinite list of our wishes because wishes don't have borders. They are unlimited. Beside that, they are usually subject of our dreams. We dream about our wishes.

Second anger management step: I'm frustrated because my wish wasn't achieved

Wish wasn't achieved because, just like with many other wishes, that simply doesn't happen. Disappointments are part of life. Every normal person knows that achieving every wish is impossible and because of that, he is happy when he works hard and achieves something. He peacefully accepts failure.

Third anger management step: I can't accept failure

If you see frustration as a disaster, you have really big problems. We become angry because of our way of thinking, not because of frustration. With other words, depressive thinking creates depressive mood.

If you still have doubts, think about this. When person reaches his maturity, no one can push him out of his way of thinking. He can be jealous, sad, angry, generous, scared only because of himself or because of irrational imaginations. If he wants to change his mood into positive, happy and healthy feelings, he must stop believing into imaginations that lead into fear or anger. For example, if you don't believe in ghosts, you don't have to be afraid of ghosts.

If you believe that failing at completing your tasks isn't big problem, you won't be frustrated if you don't succeed.

This third anger management step is always the most important. People that can't stand failure will almost always end up being frustrated and angry.

I'm sure that everyone has been angry at least once in his life. And the biggest problem is that we probably didn't have control over ourselves when that happened. And next logical thing that happens is that we regret our actions. We can then apologize to others and that is good, but if that happens all the time, I think we should find solution to our obvious anger management problem trough reading this self-help anger techniques article.

First, try to remember a few cases where you became angry. Try to find triggers. Ask yourself what is the cause of your anger. And put it all on the paper; simply write it down. Was it someone's behavior or just someone's presence? Or maybe something went wrong? Or was it just one of "those" days? Feel free to write notes to each of these triggers... Make a big list, don't worry about grammar or something like that. Make it look like brainstorming.

After you did that - listed all your anger triggers, try to put numbers next to them by going from what you think is the lowest threat to the biggest. Don't worry if you have problems with that. Things will be fine as long as you are thinking about it. Take a next step when you are done.

Observe your list and think about every trigger. Try to remember why did it happen and how did you react.

Why did it happen? There can be numerous reason for that and for some of them your anger is justified. But for some of them your anger isn't. Try to separate these two types of reasons and find out where was your mistake. Try to imagine what your ideal reaction to some of the situations should look like.

Next time try to act based on your previous observations.

About the Author

I enjoy writing in my free time. My latest article was about Modern Window Treatments and Wall Painting Techniques

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