And You're Still Looking For Happiness - By: Willie Horton

Are you one of those people who wants to be happy but doesn't know how? Perhaps you're a regular 'O' reader ' devouring quick Oprah's quick tips on how to live your best life. Or, like millions of others, you're a regular purchaser of those feel good self help books. And you're frustrated. You've read about how others have changed their lives (or, maybe, it's all just fiction concocted by those self improvement gurus!) and your life is still the same. The same routine, same worries, doubts and stress. So not only do you not feel good ' you actually worse. What's missing?

It's a fact that people who buy self-help books and products are regular, repeat purchasers. Someone is making a lot of money out of this self help, personal development or self improvement kick. But if you have to keep buying and buying, seeking and searching, surely you're not being pointed in the right direction... or, maybe, you simply haven't practiced what you've learned. And I mean every single day.

Nobody changes their life as if struck by a single bolt of lightning. We, as normal people, will always revert to our native mindlessness, our default subconscious conditioning - that's how we're hard-wired. So, even if you've attended some big razzmatazz motivational event - to quote one of my friends, even you've just had your regular fix of Deepak Chopra - the effects wear off. It's the way we're built. It's so easy to simply slip back into our 'not-too-uncomfortable' zone - where we keep behaving the same way over and over, where we keep indulging in the habits that we so want to break. It's in our nature to constantly slip back down into the pit of negative thought.

Personal development seminars and books, self improvement websites and programs won't, of themselves, change your life - they may be the catalyst, but they'll have no effect whatsoever unless you're prepared to do the follow-up legwork yourself. Only you can change your life and it's a task that you're going to have to undertake every single day or your life for the rest of your life. Because life is lived in moments, you've got moment to moment decisions to make on how you will react, how you will behave, what you will pay attention to and what thoughts you will focus on. Normally, your subconscious mind does all these things for you. But that's what has you dissatisfied, that's what has led to your unhappiness, that's what leads to worry and stress - because your conditioned subconscious, like everyone else's, relies on what your average psychologist would describe as 'stored-knowledge' to creat your very own personal impression of the present moment. However, you learned all that stored knowledge during your so-called formative yeasrs - so what use is that kind of knowledge to you today.

So, to change your life - one moment at a time - you've got to start making and taking decisions for yourself. Will I wallow in the useless thought that I'm worried about that I lack self-esteem? Am I going to waste this evening's party thinking that I lack self-confidence? Am I going to lose my job because I'm not fit to do it because I'm wasting my energy worrying about whether I'll lose my job?!! Will I waste this opportunity because I think that I haven't got the guts to take it? The self-defeating nonsense that we torture ourselves with - simply because we wallow in our own useless thoughts, is never-ending - I'm sure that you've got your own.

What's going on in your normal head dictates your existence because it dictates your behaviour and your reactions. You've got to stop thinking useless and negative thoughts - or, more correctly, you've got to deny them your precious energy. The thing is, if your subconscious could have its way, you would be stuck, transfixed by all your habitual, self-defeating thoughts - there's a certain comfort in being as warped and crazy as your friends, your family and, in fact, almost everyone you'll ever meet. But they're not happy either and the sad thing is many of them don't even realize it. At least, if you've got this far in reading this article, you're looking for some other way of living a happier more successful life.

And you've found it. There is a way. Instead of wasting your precious energy on useless thought - and all the knock-on results - invest your energy in living, experiencing and savouring the present moment. I said earlier that your life is lived in moments - in other words the here and now. If you're not experiencing it, you're missing out on this precious moment of your life - and this moment will never come your way again. If you learn to pay attention to the here and now, you stop paying attention to the self-defeating thoughts that create your patterned behaviour, that create your patterned life.

Alternatively, you start to understand and appreciate that there's a completely different reality happening - completely different to the routine that you've resigned yourself to as your normal everyday life. Suddenly you will realize that there's a whole world of opportunities to be embraced - because your negative thoughts won't be telling you that you can't. You'll discover that there's far more job satisfaction to be had in just doing your job rather than trying to do whilst thinking that you hate it. You'll discover that self-confidence and self-esteem are things that you don't even think about anymore (they're constructs of normal negative thought) - you're just going to be you - and to hell with what people think.

But this can only work if you're on your guard, on your toes, constantly vigilant and alert to what you're actually experiencing in the present moment. I mentioned that it was a task that you're going to have to do every single day for the rest of your life. But it's no big deal, not hard work - it's a labour of love and it starts, quite simply, with five minutes either focusing on your breathing or listening to the sounds around you every morning. These few minutes get your head in the right place for the rest of the day! A good start is half the battle - and if you're not prepared to take the trouble to start your day off in the right way, your objective to be happier and more successful will be an endless battle that you can never win.

Copyright (c) 2011 Willie Horton

About the Author

Willie Horton launched his now acclaimed Personal Development Seminars in 1996. His clients include Pfizer, Deloitte, Nestle, KPMG, G4S & Allergan. His Personal Development Workshops are now online, together with hundreds or 'quick tip' articles and videos, at Gurdy.Net, Willie's Personal Development Website.

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