A FEW NOTES ON GRIEF - By: Melissa Marcy

The part of life that makes being here so special is that we only experience this for a little while before moving on to something else. To every beginning there must be an end, and for every person who dies, someone who loves them feels the pain of their loss. This happens in all of our lives at one point or another. Love is one of the qualities that makes us human… it gives us both the greatest joy and the greatest pain. I have included a few things here for you that I have learned through my own experience with grief that I hope can help you during yours.

1. When you are grieving, you NEED to cry. Crying is healthy. It allows us to express our feelings so they don’t build up inside of us. If you don’t feel comfortable crying in front of others, just go somewhere you can be alone for awhile and get it all out. There is no shame in crying - if God didn’t think it was appropriate, he wouldn’t have given us tear ducts. Express your emotions - burying them will only postpone the inevitable and prolong the grieving process.

2. People can give you timelines for how long grief should last, but please ignore them. The human heart is not going to heal magically after 3 days, 3 months, or even three years. It is sort of like baking a pie - the timing always varies because every oven is different… and much like our ovens, we are all different too.

3. Allow yourself to express your emotions. If you feel like your emotions are stuck, try watching movies that either make you cry or make you laugh so hard that you cry. Laughter is a great way to release emotion as well. If you find yourself feeling angry, take a kickboxing class, go for a run or have a few good screams to get it out of you.

4. Try not to make any important decisions until you are done grieving. I am speaking of decisions like major purchases, marriage, job changes and moving. Allow yourself to heal first and you will be in a much better position to make those decisions properly.

5. As happiness returns to your life, please don’t feel guilty about being happy. Remember that the your deceased loved one loves you just as much as you love them. They do not want you to suffer or be in pain. When your grieving subsides, that does not mean that you have stopped loving them and it does not mean that you no longer care. We eventually just get used to our new world.

6. Grief can be very draining, so remember to get plenty of rest, eat right and take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself and the others in your life who are going through this process with you.

7. Forgive yourself for the inevitable should have - would have - could have list that emerges during grief. We are all human. We all say and do things we wish we hadn’t, and there is always the list of things we wish that we had been able to say or do. Unfortunately this list seems to grow longer the closer people are to us. Remember that no one is perfect and just as you love others unconditionally in spite of their faults they love you as well in spite of yours.

8. If there is something you want to say to your loved one that you didn’t get the opportunity to, feel free to say it to them now. Just because you don’t have a body to talk to, that doesn’t mean you can’t talk to them. They are just in a different form now.

9. Spend more time with your LIVING loved ones and be grateful for them. Make new traditions together to bring joy into your life and ease the pain. Enjoy being with one another.

10. The most important lesson we can learn from death is what really matters in life. We tend to get so wrapped up in the material things - our homes, our cars, our jobs and possessions. None of that matters. The only things that matter are the love in your heart, the people (and animals) you love, our experiences, and the memories we make here together. After all, that is all you have to take with you when you go, so live life to the fullest, enjoy every moment and learn to really be present – really experience and feel everything down through the very depths of your being. Drink it all in and really, truly live.

Melissa Marcy, RMT

Virtuality Studio Reiki and Meditation

Home of the Reiki Vacation, Reiki Charged Reiki Meditation Videos and MP3’s, The Manifestation Guidebook and more!

Disclaimer: this article is intended for inspirational purposes only and the techniques and ideas described herein are not to be used as a substitute for professional medical or psychological treatment or without prior consultation with, approval of, and under the supervision of your physician or therapist. Application of the information, techniques and ideas in this article is at the sole risk and discretion of the reader.

About the Author

Melissa Marie Marcy is an author, artist and Reiki practitioner in the Chicagoland area. She is the author of The Manifestation Guidebook and How To Be In Tune With The Infinite, and has produced a series of Reiki charged nature meditation videos and mp3’s. For more information or to schedule a Reiki session, please visit her website Virtuality Studio Reiki and Meditation.

Article Directory Source: http://www.articlerich.com/profile/Melissa-Marcy/72699

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