5 ways to get ahead of the competition - By: Eileen Edwards

If you have met someone you find attractive and desirable congratulations. The downside of this is that if you find him attractive other women will too. You can't make him choose you but here are five things that will certainly stack the odds in your favour.

1/ Active listening, this means really giving him your undivided attention when he is speaking. Most people when in conversation only give about half of their attention to the speaker. That's because we are thinking about what we are going to say next. Active listening is the type of listening used by therapists and counsellors when working with their clients. It doesn't come naturally to most people but can be learnt with a little practice.

You can practice during your everyday conversations. When you do this with someone on a regular basis you'll create a great rapport. That makes it well worth the effort when interacting with someone you hope will be your future life partner.

2/ Body language, have you ever noticed how couples display similar body language. If not now would be a good time to start noticing, as body language is one of the five keys to creating great rapport.

Observe couples in restaurants, bars or any other public place and you will soon see how they echo or mirror each other's body language. This is what you will do subtly with your prospective life partner.

The reason you must be subtle is because you are not directly copying the other persons body language, what you are doing is exhibiting body language that is similar to theirs.

The person who's body language you are echoing or mirroring will not be aware of this at their conscious level of mind. They will pick it up at an unconscious mental level. Mirroring someone's body language pays them a compliment at their unconscious level and will help them feel close to you. A compliment paid at this physical level has a great advantage over the usual compliments that we pay in words. That's because it isn't open to conscious scrutiny and criticism in the way that verbal compliments are.

When we are paid a verbal compliment we will tend to analyse it and wonder if the person paying it was simply being pleasant or had some other hidden agenda. By echoing or mirroring body language we are paying a compliment, which can't be analysed and therefore has a much greater impact. Body language is a huge area. I show my clients how to use it to gain improvement in many sections of their lives. Space does not allow me to go into it more deeply here. However by simply applying the mirroring technique above you'll create great rapport even with strangers.

3/ The magic of touch, when you hold your boyfriend's hand, slip an arm around his waist or give him a playful hug you are expressing love in a very meaningful way. Touch like body language cannot be analysed so your loving message gets through exactly as you mean it to with no possibility of misunderstanding. Loving touch is a very powerful way to get close. Use it often.

4/Recognise his individuality-Don't you sometimes just feel like a number in our modern society? Well he does too. Knowing that you are special and irreplacable to your life partner is one of the great things about being in a relationship. He needs to know that too.

Giving a potential partner a gift however small shows that you are thinking about him and care about him. Giving a potential life partner a gift which is mass-produced shows less love and care has gone into its selection than giving a gift made or chosen especially for him. In this way you are not just giving him a gift you are also showing that you recognise his individuality.

If you can make the gift yourself this gives it special significance. Image his delight when you turn up with a cake you have baked just for him and its not even his birthday. If you are not into baking a bathrobe you've made would be equally good.

Or you could present him with a portrait you've painted of him. I would suggest that you do this from a photograph. He could find hours spent sitting still whilst you paint him boring plus it would spoil the surprise. Or why not make it a picture of his dog or boat if this is what he would prefer. Sculpture or pottery would be equally good it's simply a case of using your talents to create something unique and special just for him.

If you opt for a bought gift the key would be to go for something imaginative and unusual. It could be something associated with a place that you have visited together. Or perhaps a piece of music that has pleasant associations for you both. Whatever your gift it should be clear to him that it was chosen with thought and care by someone who sees him as a unique individual.

About the Author

Eileen went from relationship disaster to relationship success using the insights of psychology. Now qualified as a psychologist she is passionate about helping other women do the same. You can claim her six step "Love magnet"ecourse for just £77 before 30th Apri 2009 by emailing eileen@eileenedwards.co.uk See website http://www.eileenedwards.co.uk

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