3 Steps to Restoring Your Self-Respect After Infidelity - By: Sarah Trent

The onslaught of feelings you go through after you’ve learned your husband or wife was unfaithful can be truly overpowering. The disloyalty leads to hurt and anger - and often, some of your anger gets directed towards yourself.

All of the harmful images and feelings can cause chaos for your inner health, leaving your self-confidence in tatters. You may find you are berating yourself with comments like:

• How could I not realize something was wrong?
• Why wasn’t I good enough?
• What’s wrong with me, that my own spouse would do such a terrible thing?

If you have these types of thoughts in your mind, is it any wonder your self-respect has faded?

This anger that is focused inward is normal. Many people have worries after infidelity in marriages. Worries about who your significant other really is, how to cope with the pain, and what will happen next.

When these worries take over, it is time to take care of yourself and turn things around. Remember this: your mind is your territory. You command what happens there.

You did not ask to be cheated on, yet you are left with the destructive consequence. An infidelity can make you feel like you have lost control over everything - especially your life and how you see it. This is, in large part, the reason why your self-respect was eroded.

Here are 3 important steps to reclaim your self-respect:

Step #1: Accept Personal Responsibility

You are not at fault for the affair, however you are responsible for your life. It’s up to you to surpass the difficult hand you’ve been given. You are responsible for what you say to yourself, so listen closely to that internal dialogue - and accept responsibility for changing it.

Step #2: Embrace Reality

If you are feeling down and discouraged after learning about your spouse’s infidelity, accept that this is your reality today. It doesn’t mean it is a fixed reality. Pretending that you don’t feel terrible will do very little to help you regain your self-respect. Simply recognizing that this is a truly awful period in your life can motivate your recovery. Then you can concentrate your efforts on building a more positive reality.

Step #3: Feed Your Emotions and Your Soul

Your relationship could have been in disrepair for some time. If you think about it, it may have been quite a while since you had any fun, let alone fun with your significant other. Anger and resentment may have marked your days leading up to the infidelity - and most likely characterize them after the affair.

Take back your sense of self-respect by changing this pattern. Consider all of the activities you truly enjoy - and start doing them. You might not really feel like it at first, but tell yourself you need to build some new, beneficial practices: mainly, bringing fun back into your life.

This doesn’t mean you should quit working to save your marriage or become so immersed in having fun that you disregard everything else. It just means that your emotions and spirit have been injured - and only you can lift them back up. By nurturing and loving yourself, you will re-establish your self-respect.

The length of the road back to high self-esteem differs for each person. I can not tell you when you will get there, but you do possess the power to change your current conditions and reclaim your self-respect.

About the Author

Visit my website Surviving Marriage Infidelity for more interesting articles on infidelity in marriages.

Article Directory Source: http://www.articlerich.com/profile/Sarah-Trent/151825

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